.3 days and counting

Selamat siang semua.

He/She 's been holding on since the day before. No sign of weakness or any health problem ever since the first milk I gave him/her.


Currently feeding him/her on 3-4 hour interval of milk or when she cries. Getting the syringe was hard enough. I had to scour every place in Shah Alam to buy the syringe. The clinic would not sell me the syringe, and after begging and promising I would not use it to abuse drugs, she finally sold it to me.


He/She likes my tummy so much. I think its because of the heat generated from my body. When he/she cries for his/her mom, I immediately pick her up and place him/her on my tummy, and he/she stops crying. All of this makes me very sad, considering he/she really needs her mom everytime. I can't do that with the class and all.

I'm just hoping for the best that he/she would make it through the first week. I still cant figute out the sex of the baby yet because it looks the same.

If the sex is female, thinking of naming her Jeni Jr.

Huda with Jeni 3 days prior to her death.

I miss Jeni. I miss how she would nibble on my hand when I pick her up. I miss how she woke up hearing her food bowl is filled up. I miss how she would make clicking sound when I pick her up, knowing that that sign means she felt safe in my hand.

Jeni after her death. Notice how her face looks very sad and the eyes makes me want to weep.

Don't be naughty up there. You know that I will never ever erase you from my heart.
I Love You.